God know's i've tried.

after last night i just want a break;
a break from everything, not death,
just a vaccation to escape this reality.

not just anyone could understand
but i'm sure a lot of people could relate.

this reminds me of two years ago;
when i was the girl sitting on my bed,
with a knife after writing countless
suicide letters, with cuts never deep enough.

Do you know how bad i want to try again?
Do you know how many times a year this endless depression comes back,
its feeding on me, eating away every piece of confidence i fucking have left.
and when it's all gone it moves onto something else.
Ripping out pieces of everything it can get it's sharp teeth on.

like a leech sucking the blood out of me, in this case my life.
It's like a case of APL,Acute promyelocytic leukemia;
it's never fully cured, it comes back and before you know it your unconcious.

i'm just gonna walk through the door like nothing happend,
keeping everything else inside,unable to function right.
or concentrate, while getting drenched with questions of why i didn't hand in my assignment.
I was busy, "doing what?" she'll ask.

Crying my fucking eyes out.