vacines and vodka ; herion and heart attacks.

life is a neverending emotion .
it tear's you apart after you finally think you're better .
depression is like a sickness,
you can't stop catching it .
unlike the flu , you can't get a shot for it .

instead we inject herion instead of vacines ,
instead of exhailing oxygen we exhail smoke .
instead of consuming water we consume alcohol.

why ? because we're sick .
sick of trying ,
sick of trying to find a resolution ,
yeah you have one , but you'll never use it .
because you don't have the strength ,
you get knocked back down ,
as your self esteem follows.

sick of fighting.
sick of fighting for what's right or wrong,
when everything seems to be wrong .
the battle of life , is a fight .
a fight you never know is going to end ,
and then suddenly, it does.
Could be as fast as the speed of sound ,
or as harsh and long as a wound healing .

sick of feeling all these pains that are not nessicary .
Quite frankly I don't know if I should keep fighting for nothing,
or just swallow everything and choke .
choke on my every thought you never bother'd giving a fuck about .

how many heart's will die here tonight ?

As i sit here ,
emotions take controll over my body .
it's bin dallas green for the past 20 hours ,
no one else i rather shrug to the thought of .

As i listen to Hello , I'm in Delaware ,
thoughts of you pass in and out of my mind .
Everytime I'm over you I'm not .

i broke my own heart into a million pieces ,
and your's too . I'll never have a strong enough sorry .
It hurt's alot .

Things will never be the same , ever .
but I miss your text's , if i'm at school or in bed .
and your offline messages , that were extremely long .

I was in love with you , like no other love .
And as it hurts to say ,
I'll need some time to get over this .

i'll some how make it out .

to be hurt , is one thing ,
but to hurt another , is cold .

I don't know how bad i hurt you,
and it dosen't show .
But you seem to be alright on you're own ,
for the most part.

You have all these amazing people now anyways,
so I don't see why you wouldn't be happy .

On the other hand;

Me, I thought I was doing fine.
untill the next day came along .
I thought breaking up with you , wouldn't matter at all .
To be honest, It's killing me.

It's like having a knife drove through you're heart.
and it's perminatly stuck there untill you can fix it .
Good fucking luck , Cause i'll need it .

I told you I didn't want to go out with you ,
and now I hope you know why that is.

I told myself I wouldn't miss you ,
It's not the first time I've ever lied to myself.

just a little less obvious ,

Have you ever noticed me ?
The small things about me what you wouldn't care for atleast;

Like the paleness in my face , but my back is tan ?
Or just how ice cold my hands are from the lack of iron I have ?

How my eyes go green when I cry ?
Or how there gold when I'm happy .

How much care I put into my words ,
Or my careless stutter from thinking to many things at once .

My hopeless dream for the sun to shine all day .
Or maybe that I have insomnia .

Or do you just see ;

That girl in French Immersion with light bright eyes ,
alot of makeup , Orange/brown hairs , Always tired ,
B- average girl ?

The girl with a thousand lies written all over .

Let's compare scars , i'll tell you whose' is worse .

Trace your hand markings .
Follow your creases' .
Find your fast beating pulse .

My hand's are different .
I can see a blue vein that travels through my hand .
I follow it down my hand ;
Beneath the fresh red wounds .
I see blue , it stands still .
Without a beat .

I wonder if it travel's to my heart ,
cause my heart feels the same pain my wrist does .

I hope you choke on my words .

Can you like , get a fucking clue ?
I know you're stupid ;
but I never though you'd go THIS far .

You have this , incredible power ; to make rules that could save us .
But you chose to , Drive your greedy ass around in your hummer .
And count your money while smiling , because you think your it all
and then some . But your not .

Let me tell you one thing ,
If I ran this place , The artic wouldn't be melting .
I blame you for chaos .

People HATE you , I'm number one of that fan club .
I've gotten to the point where I don't even want you to exsist .

I live to make sure every breath you take
is an inhail of guilt and greed .

Now why don't you smarten up ,
get your prioraties straight and fix this mess
I don't wish you harm ,
Just wish something would hit you in the head .

And watch , a couple years from now .
When there's a flood, and you don't know why ,
But I do of course .

You'll have wished you listened to that little girl,
who wrote you that letter telling you off .

And you'll go to hell , for greed .
Seven deadly sins baby .

then I just smile ,

It's crazy , YOUR crazy .

So at our school, every year , students get chosen
to go to leadership camps for a week in the summer .

I want an option for art ,
you may not know it but i'm really good at art .
I'm creative as can be too , never failed art .

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CHOSE HIM ?
He' sucks ass at drawing , and you think that
i' wont follow the rules , bull shit .
He's more dis-obeydiant then me .

I think you lost your mind .
Even everyone in our class agrees
that I should have gone .

But then again , after he spilt his lunch ALL
over the floor running by .
Imagine what's going to happen at camp.

LMFAO , in a way ,
I feel alot better now :)